Keeping up with Kay

We don’t always notice it creeping in, but comparison is a silent killer. It takes the joy out of our progress and convinces us we are not enough, even when we are doing just fine. The truth? There’s only one you, and that is your greatest advantage.

The Comparison Trap

Comparison is sneaky, it never shows up with a warning label. It slips in when you’re scrolling through someone’s vacation photos while you’re sitting at home in sweatpants, or when a coworker casually mentions how productive their morning was while you’re just proud you made it out the door on time. It even pops up in the little things, like seeing someone’s perfectly organized kitchen and suddenly feeling like your messy junk drawer says something about your character. The truth is, you’re comparing your “behind the scenes”, the messy, unfiltered, real-life stuff, to someone else’s polished highlight reel. Of course that’s going to feel uneven.

And sometimes comparison tries to convince us it’s motivation, but honestly, it usually does the opposite. Instead of feeling inspired, you just end up drained and doubting yourself. I’ve done it too and not once has it made me feel better. For me, it might be hearing about someone else’s new accomplishment and instantly questioning if I’m doing enough, even though I was perfectly proud of myself 5 minutes earlier. Comparison never sends you home feeling good, it’s basically the bad ex of mindsets.

Only One You

If you need a reminder, let me be the one to say it loud and clear: there is literally no one better at being you, than you. Period. Comparison makes us forget that, but the truth is, you are already doing something no one else can, showing up as yourself.

No one else has your exact mix of strengths, quirks, experiences, and perspectives, and that’s your superpower. Sure, there are plenty of female medical students (finally in the majority), and I’m sure a lot of them are into health and fitness, just as I am. But that’s not the whole picture. What sets me apart are the little traits that don’t show up on a résumé – like my random fascination with cruise ships and Queen Elizabeth, or the fact that I can do strangely good impressions of people. They may be silly examples, but they are proof that even within a big group of people who look “the same on paper”, there is still only one me. And the same goes for you: your odd little passions … they’re not extras, they are the very things that make you unapologetically you.

And here’s the thing: being different isn’t something you have to explain or tone down, it is something you get to own. You don’t have to check the same boxes or fit the same mold as everyone else to prove you belong here. What actually makes you memorable are the random details, the traits, and the ways you show up as yourself. So instead of asking, “do I measure up?”, flip it: “could anyone else do it the way I do it?” Definitely not. Unless they’ve secretly mastered cruise ship trivia, Queen Elizabeth facts, and a strangely good impression or two. But let’s be real, that combo is taken by your truly.

Flipping the Script

One of the biggest ways I’ve learned to quiet comparison is by surrounding myself with people who remind me of my worth. I am so lucky to have friends and family who feel like home, people who let me be my true self and who cheer for me no matter what. We celebrate each other’s wins, big and small, and there’s just so much comfort in knowing that the people in my corner want me to succeed just as much as I want it for them. That kind of support shifts the focus away from competition and back to community.

When it comes to school or fitness, I’ll be honest, comparison can sneak in fast. It happens when I hear classmates talking about how they studied for an exam, or when I catch myself at the gym looking around and noticing how someone else looks stronger or fitter. In those moments, I try to pull myself out of the spiral by shifting focus back to me; my progress, my routines, and how far I’ve already come. I’ve learned to celebrate the small wins that make a big difference in how I’m feeling: finishing an exam and feeling that weight lift off my shoulders, or even just cleaning my room and tackling laundry because it makes me feel productive again. Those moments remind me that success isn’t about isn’t about keeping up with anyone else, it’s about building a version of myself I can be proud of. At the end of the day, the only person I need to measure up to is the me I was yesterday.

Final Reminder

Think of the most beautiful things in this world, sunsets, city skylines, your favorite song. What makes them special isn’t that they all look or sound the same, but that each one is completely different and stands out in its own way. Imagine if every sunset looked identical or every song had the same melody, it would be boring, right? That’s exactly how it works with people too. The differences are what make you memorable and an individual. Your value doesn’t come from blending in or measuring up to anyone else, it comes from the fact that there’s only one you. And if you hear nothing else today, hear this: you are enough, just as you are babe.

Comparison might try to creep in, but it doesn’t get to decide your story. You weren’t meant to live life on someone else’s timeline. The grades, the gym, the endless highlight reels…none of that takes away from what you’ve already built and where you’re going. So, when comparison shows up, remind yourself: you’re not falling behind, you’re not less, you’re one of one.

Thanks for keeping up with Kay.